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The Shameful Fall Of The WWE

By Mike Becker

I'm sick. Sick of the WWE, their kiddie friendly concept and their one-dimensional prepubescent heroes. But most of all, I'm sick of John Cena.

But let's start from the beginning. Remember Extreme Rules? Boy, that was a PPV worth each and every dime. It wasn't perfect (thanks to Cena, of course), but it was proper wrestling. There were proper story lines, rivalries, atmosphere ... it was good.

But then, something happened. Lesnar went to count his money, and the same old, same old returned - but worse than ever before. If you watch RAW these days, could you honestly recommend that teletubbie wannabe-comedy to anybody? I can't. Let's have a look at the shit that happened last Monday:

  • WWE presented Hornswoggle as the anonymous GM. Really.
  • Sherlock Santino.
  • Another brain decaying Cole vs Lawler match.
  • A no contest because the illegal man broke up the pin in a tag team match. It has happened 32,441,678,012,009 times before without any consequences, and yet, all of sudden, there seems to be a new rule. Damn!
  • Cena explains us how tough the Money in the Bank match will be, how tough he is - and of course, he will win and rise above all others. Well, who else has any chance to win? Kane? Please. Big Show, the unstoppable monster (which has been stopped by Cena a couple of weeks back)? Are you kidding me? Or maybe Chris Jericho, the new king of the jobbers? Well, we can hope ...
  • Even the best story (aka the only proper one) is stagnant. Yes, AJ kind of likes both, Punk and Bryan, and yes, it complicated. It has been like this for weeks, without any sign of development. Not even sweet AJ might be able to save us.

Thanks to Cena, even Money in the Bank is ruined now. Who had the insanely dumb idea to make a "former champions only" ladder match for a title shot? Instead of heloing young talent, the RAW suitcase match will consist of old veterans - and except for Jericho, they shouldn't even compete in a ladder match anymore. Worst of all, chances are this boring match will be the main event of Money in the Bank ...

And then, the 1000th episode of RAW is lurking in the shadows. From then on, each RAW will last 3 hours. Why on earth would anyone do such a stupid, stupid thing? If you can't fill 2 hours with enjoyable stuff, what will happen in 3 hours? Well, WWE found an answer: Let the fans join us. Let them post on Twitter or Facebook or via videos how much they love the WWE and their beloved heroes (expect to see little kids crying when they pledge their allegiance to their teletubbie overlord SuperCena). Plus, fans will be able to decide stipulations and opponents - via Twitter again, of course. I can't even think of anything to properly voice my distaste for what's to come in late July.

Of course, the 1000th episode of RAW itself might cloud the clusterfuck WWE has turned into. Rock, Brock, Triple H, Undertaker and probably many more veterans will return to ... well, steal the spotlights from Punk, Bryan, Ziggler, Rhodes or even Sheamus for that matter.

And the worst thing is it wasn't all that bad a couple of months back. But since then, WWE has been on a wild downhill-ride into kindergarten county where nothing is too dumb to be broadcast, no joke is too dull, no lame Cena promo too dumb, and no repetition of absurd matches too annoying.

Honestly, I've been watching WWF/E for 20 years now - and never before have I felt ashamed because of their shows. Never before have I been preferred to simply not watch RAW after reading the results. Never before have I thought "Fuck it, I'll walk away". But now, it might be time to move on. WwE has become some toddler freakshow with no value for adults. Shame, but it's their shame, not mine.

 

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